Finding Happiness in Imperfection

When we dream, we dream of perfection, right? The perfect friends, the perfect job, the perfect life. But a flawless life doesn't make you happy. Our strongest emotions—love, empathy, and trust—aren't perfect. Instead, these emotions live in the flaws and failures that make you and your life unique.

The happiest people aren't looking for perfection; they don't want their life to be flawless. They don't dream of an alternate world where everything is bigger and better. Instead, they fall in love with the tiny imperfections all around them. Just imagine your dream house. Do you see a spacious mansion sparkling from top to bottom? Do you envision a movie theater, a giant pool, and a sprawling backyard?

In theory, these ideas could make you happy. You imagine yourself enjoying every square inch of your picture-perfect home. But this vision is just an idea. In reality, every house has imperfections—even the house of your dreams. Every room could be bigger; every pool could be deeper. If you keep asking for more, you'll never be satisfied with the things you already have.

Embracing Imperfections

So don't idealize your perfect life. Instead, raise a magnifying glass to the imperfections in your life—the accidents, the failures, and the mistakes. But don't criticize them; appreciate them. In your house, the door handles may be loose, the ceiling may be too low, but those imperfections turn a house into a home. In all aspects of life, you don't need perfection to be happy, because you'll find happiness in the most imperfect places.

The Value of Time

What's the most valuable resource in your life? Money? Power? Fame? At the end of their rope, there's one thing people wish for, one resource they want above all else, and that resource is time. They wish for time to spend with the people they love. They wish for time to explore their passions, time to see the world, time to experience new adventures. In the end, time is the most valuable thing you have, but we forget how quickly our time slips away.

You may spend your life in pursuit of money, attention, power. You may chase fame and fortune. You may think titles and paychecks will make you happy. In your head, these resources are all you need. You envision how great your life would be if only you had money or influence. But what happens when you get there? What happens when you become wealthy and powerful? You feel just as empty as you did before.

Finding Meaning Beyond Wealth

Fame and fortune are comfortable luxuries, that much is obvious. But they cannot give your life meaning. You need passion, you need love, you need purpose. You could have all the money in the world, but without those things, your wealth is worthless. That's why happy people value their time. They don't live their life in pursuit of a big paycheck. They don't aspire to be famous, powerful, or important.

Time Well Spent

Instead, the happiest people dedicate their time to things that make them happy—to their passions, to their loved ones, to their favorite hobbies. So rethink the way you spend your time. When you're at the end of your life, when you look back on all your years, you should know one thing for sure: you spent your time wisely.

Emotional Connections

How often do you have meaningful conversations? You may avoid deep or emotional discussions. You may turn every conversation into a joke. You may keep your friends at arm's length. But your brain craves meaningful connection. It wants to share stories and relate to other people, because that's how lasting bonds are built—not through small talk or good manners, but through honest and vulnerable conversations.

The happiest people chase these kinds of conversations. They avoid small talk and gossip. They let down their guard, and they take risks with the people they care about. Yes, it's scary to expose something personal about yourself, but those secrets told to the right person can nurture a lifelong friendship.

Just think about your friendships. Have you and your friends connected on an emotional level? If you haven't, make an effort. Sit down with your friends and dive deep. Don't be afraid to be emotional and sincere, because those conversations are the most meaningful.

Altruistic Spending

How much money do you spend on yourself? We buy things for ourselves all the time, things we think we need. In the moment, those purchases make us happy, but that happiness fades almost instantly. Think, for example, about buying a new phone. You imagine all the ways this new phone will change your life, but once you buy it, the phone loses its sparkle and shine. The rose-colored glasses come off, and your burst of happiness just flitters away. Before you know it, you're searching for something new.

The happiest people don't spend much money on themselves. They know that excitement is temporary. So instead of spending money on themselves, they give money to other people, because giving brings far more happiness than getting. Let's say you buy a meal for someone who can't afford it, or maybe you donate to a good cause. Those small acts of kindness give you a greater sense of purpose and meaning.

Making a Difference

Suddenly, you're thinking outside of yourself. You're working in big ways and small ways to make the world a better place. You're choosing to brighten another person's life, and that kind of happiness is priceless.

Hitting the Brakes

Life moves faster than you think. Your routines keep you racing through the day. Your eyes stay locked in front of you, focused on your goals, focused on your future. You're rushing to get where you want to go, but you're missing the meaningful moments along the way. Life is like driving down a highway. You could speed through the countryside, staring only at the road in front of you. You may get where you want to go in record time, but what about the beautiful scenery you missed? What about the memories you never made?

The happiest people slow their lives down. Instead of speeding from one place to another, they ride the brakes. They stop to enjoy their surroundings. Happy people relish the small but wonderful pleasures in life—smells, tastes, and colors. The sunlight, the soft grass, and the cool breeze. We take these things for granted every day. We're so focused on the future we ignore the present moment.

Appreciating the Present

So make a change. Set aside time to enjoy the world around you. It could be just five minutes; it could be an hour. Whatever is comfortable. During that time, acknowledge your environment, your comforts, and your gifts. Open your eyes and ears. Think about where you are and appreciate all that your world has to offer.

Blocks of Passion

What are you passionate about? A craft, a hobby, a sport, or a subject? What lights your fire more than anything in the world? Whatever your passion is, that passion plays an important role in your happiness. The problem is most people neglect their passions. They get busy with work. They're overwhelmed by stress and responsibility. So their favorite activities just slip through their fingers.

Alright, let's say you love to swim. Growing up, you swam every chance you could. Back then, nothing made you happier. But now you have a full-time job. You have a family that depends on you. You have a lot on your plate. So should you leave your passion in the past?

The happiest people prioritize their passions. It doesn't matter if your passions don't make money. It doesn't matter if you're bad at them. No matter how skilled or dedicated you are, passions should be a top priority. Because your passions give you inspiration. They lift your spirits. They brighten your day. And they motivate you to live a better life.

Embrace Your Passions

So engage with your passions as often as you can. Whether you love to scuba dive, mountain climb, or paint flowers, make time for the activities you love.

Mood Evaluation

How often do you evaluate your mood? This is a difficult thing to do. Very few people check in with themselves because your brain is oriented outward. You think about the needs of others. You think about expectations, judgments, and criticisms. Meanwhile, you neglect the attitudes and feelings that guide you through life. But those feelings control your happiness.

The happiest people evaluate their moods on a daily basis. They carefully understand how they're feeling, and they give themselves room to change. Happiness isn't a guarantee. You could be happy one day and unhappy the next, because your happiness evolves over time. Early in your life, freedom and excitement may brighten your mood, but later you may be searching for comfort and stability.

Maintaining Happiness

That's why happiness requires maintenance. You have to re-evaluate your life and your mood every day. Reflect on how you're feeling. Just ask yourself, "Do I feel happy today? What makes me happy right now?" Your answers could and should change over time. Some days, little things will enliven your world. Other days, you'll be stuck in a funk, unable to find your way out. But hey, that's okay. The most important thing is the work you put into your happiness.

Happiness will not fall into your lap. It's something you have to work, struggle, and fight for. But if you fight hard enough, if you're patient and reflective, you'll discover what makes you happy, and you'll chase that happiness for years to come.

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