we don’t know where we’re going honey we don’t know what’s going to happen just remember no one can take away from you what you put in your own mind i’ll tell you the time when i felt like a complete imposter i began to work with ptsd and i had two vietnam veterans and one of them was blaming cursing god country conversely the other one said to me hey hey doc i’m sitting in a wheelchair and god gave me a second chance in life and i can see my children’s eyes closer and the flowers and that’s when i began to feel like an imposter because i wore a white coat that said dr eager department of psychiatry and i realized that i could not take them further than i have gone myself and that’s when i decided to go back to auschwitz that was really that pivotal moment for me to recognize that i ran away from my past i wouldn’t do that today but today i’m here at 93 i think young and i live in the present there is one thing we cannot change is the past it’s really about grieving feeling and healing you cannot hear what you don’t feel i was just getting a phone call that someone gave birth two days ago and the baby died so i’m going to hold that woman’s hand and do the grief work because if she doesn’t do it now many years later it’s worse you know it’s it’s good to really face the truth and not to not to use defense mechanism like denial or delusion or even minimization auschwitz was there it was also an opportunity to to discover your inner resources and that’s what i bring you today that that power of the spirit that i was really practicing in hell like austrians i think it’s very important to acknowledge that when you’re angry you either have something what you don’t want or you want something what you don’t have and that’s why very important to acknowledge whatever happened you made it thus far so the question is not why me but what now but you got to go through the rage and not to cover garlic with chocolate and not to try to minimize anything because suffering made you stronger it’s very important to think about your thinking because what you think you create so i like you to do two things think about your thinking and pay attention what you’re paying attention to anything you pay attention to you reinforce that behavior don’t say yes but say yes and furthermore i made it i made it thus far so the question is what now not why me i was chosen to be with you today at 93 and having three children five grandchildren and seven great grandson i consider that the best revenge to hitler i made it and every moment is precious i don’t take anything for granted i eat up every crumb on my plate i never throw out food if i can help it if you take me out to lunch and chances are i’m gonna eat up your food if you don’t or take it home so it was very necessary for us to really reach out to others and cooperate rather than hating because it was important for me to be able to from hatred to pity and i began to feel sorry for the guards that they were wearing the uniform and throwing people into the oven children even without gas i was thinking that maybe they are the prisoners not me because i am innocent and i was thinking that it was important for me instead of hating them to feel sorry for them because they were brainwashed and they were told that i am cancer to society yes every day every day i would go to you and ask you to tell me about my eyes and my hands because my boyfriend told me i have beautiful eyes and beautiful hands and i said to myself if i survive today one day at a time then tomorrow i’m gonna be free i never even allowed the enemy telling me that i’m never gonna get out of here alive and i said to myself when i get out of here so i didn’t allow them to ever murder that spirit that is with me today [Music] i give you a couple of things my daughter calls idism and one is that the opposite of depression is expression because what comes out of your body doesn’t make you ill so share your secret and to be able to let go of guilt and let go of worry worry is in the future and we never worry about good things happening and with that comes two very important words what if what if this what if that and then you may come through what you fear what you think you create and when you say i’m always doing that i’m never going to to be happy then sure enough you have a negative self-fulfilling prophecy uh watching you going through life with as much joy and passion and love of course love the conquer zone and my definition of love is the ability to let go you cannot have intimacy unless you’re willing to be vulnerable and love is not what you feel is what you do and you committing yourself to do everything in your power i never said life was easy look at your birth certificate there is no guarantee there is no certainty there is probability you keep on walking you keep on moving you’re not revolving you’re evolving just like a butterfly so i think it’s not what happens it’s what you do with it it’s how you look at it as an opportunity for an opportunity to discover the ecstasy my parents really wanted a son after two girls and on the top of that i became cross side when i was three years old and my sisters blindfolded me when they took me for a walk so nobody would know what an ugly sister i was they were singing scenes songs about me that i’m ugly i’m puny i’m never gonna find a husband and today when i go to schools it’s the first thing i ask the students not to allow anyone to define who you are because god doesn’t make junk that i like that i love because we are one of a kind unique food here in this earth like being planted as a seed so i beg people to love themselves because self-love is self-care it’s not narcissistic that’s really important to get up in the morning look in the mirror and say to yourself i love me and i honor me too because many people can do what you can do but not the way you can do it that uniqueness that one of a kindness that authenticity i celebrate i have one question that i’ve always wanted to ask you but i’ve asked a lot of other people this question which is what does success look like to you peace of mind being congruent being well connected and being a take charge version of your thinking feeling and your behavior none of the positive thinking does any good unless it’s followed with a positive action you.
