Emotions and Adaptability

Separation from reality: What do you do when you come across something that you can't handle? Most people take all that frustration and confusion and they bury it deep down as deep as they possibly can. Now, the idea behind it is simple: if you push your feelings down far enough, then you won't feel them anymore. But psychologically, that's not really how it works. Imagine you're worried about something like fitting in, but you don't want to admit you care what other people think of you. So, what do you do? You bury your emotions, right? But you need a set of special tools just to keep those emotions stuck in the back of your mind; otherwise, they'll pop right back to the surface. Those special tools are called psychological defense mechanisms. You might know the more popular ones like denial, displacement, and regression, but there are actually dozens more. Each one offers you a chance to avoid your feelings or change them into something else. But those defense mechanisms push you further and further away from reality. So, if we go back to our example, you might project all that self-doubt onto someone else. You might criticize them for trying too hard or worrying too much. Deep down, you're the one who's insecure or self-conscious, but those defense mechanisms stop you from seeing things the way they really are.

Lighting your fire

When you bury your emotions, it doesn't just affect your mental state; it slows your life down to a crawl. People who are out of touch with their feelings miss out on all the good that your emotions do for you. You don't get that fiery passion that excites and motivates you or the frustration that makes you driven and competitive. Without those feelings, your life can start to feel stale. Your work becomes tedious, your problems are left unsolved, and you're less productive because, frankly, you just don't care as much. Many people get so wrapped up in the negative side of our emotions that they forget about all the positives.

You might forget how much passion and excitement your emotions bring into your life. But here's the beautiful thing about your feelings: the smallest spark can light the brightest fire. In other words, if you get in touch with that passion, it can snowball into lifelong satisfaction. So don't let your emotions sit below the surface any longer. Learn more about your feelings and figure out what lights your fire.

Stiff as a board

Life is full of terrifying changes. As a toddler, you were thrown from your parents' arms into this strange and unfamiliar world called school. As a teenager, you ran face-first into the hormone-filled chaos of adolescence. Then there's going off to college, buying your first home, and, of course, starting your career. To survive all these life-altering changes, you need one important skill above all else: adaptability.

Adaptability means adjusting to new people and environments. Each change brings different expectations, so you have to be flexible in the face of adversity. You also have to open yourself up to unique experiences. You have to brave the mountains and the valleys and find ways to flourish no matter how strange everything feels. But adaptability doesn't work without your emotions. Before you can digest any new environment, you need to figure out one thing: how does it make you feel? Does it make you happy, sad, or scared? Do you feel like running away? Do you feel like you're not ready to be here? These are all important questions to ask yourself after any major change. The quicker you hone in on your feelings, the quicker you'll succeed in this new chapter of your life.

But what if you suppress your emotions? What happens if you don't let yourself feel the positives and the negatives? It's a lot like walking into the ocean. At first, you can easily step over the waves, but as you get deeper, those waves are going to sweep you off your feet and crash over your head. In other words, burying your feelings might save you from a little hardship in the beginning, but you're gonna struggle more and more in the long run. A number of studies have shown empirically just how destructive this bad habit can be. For example, in 2014, one study looked at the social side effects in college freshmen. Just like they expected, students who buried their feelings ran into all kinds of problems. They lived less stable lives, had less supportive friend groups, and were less satisfied overall with their social lives. They were unable to get in touch with their feelings, and it was making them inflexible. They weren't adapting to their environment like everyone else, so they started to fall behind. As scary and challenging as life can be, resist that urge to bury your emotions because when the world is changing all around you, the best thing you can do is open up and embrace it.

A careless life

If you make a habit of suppressing your emotions, it's going to take a toll on your lifestyle. Each time that you ignore your feelings, you'll slowly but surely withdraw into yourself. You'll spend so much time shielding yourself from stress and pain that it'll change your personality. It'll make you more reclusive, more self-absorbed, and more timid. That kind of lifestyle can get lonely really quick.

Without even realizing it, you'll let your social life fall by the wayside, and your passions will gradually slip through your fingers. Why? Well, because you aren't giving yourself the chance to care. Social and personal success depends on your ability to care about yourself, but each time you smother your emotions, you care a little bit less.

Finding flags

There are two different ways to look at your feelings. The first and the most common says that feelings are motivators; they're the deeper reasons why you do the things that you do. You smile because you're happy, or you cry because you're sad. But some psychologists put a different spin on your emotions. They say that your feelings don't motivate anything; instead, they're products of something that's happening within your body.

If you're feeling worried, for example, that stress is like a red flag. Your brain might be overwhelmed, or your body might be hurting somewhere. But when you bury your emotions, you miss out on those flags. You can't listen to all the messages your body's trying to send you, and that can have a lasting impact on your mental and physical health. So don't let any more red flags go unnoticed. By getting in touch with your emotions, you can relieve stress, get rid of mental clutter, and take better care of yourself on a daily basis.

Strength and personal bonds

Who do you think you're hurting by suppressing your emotions? You might think you're protecting yourself and the people around you, but you're really not. The truth is, unearthing your feelings makes you a better friend and a better partner because your emotions have a lot of important lessons to teach you. As you decipher your complicated feelings, you learn how to have empathy and show compassion because you start recognizing your own feelings in other people.

Okay, just imagine that you're frustrated with a project at work. You could bury those feelings and keep plugging away, or you could take a closer look because you might discover something deeper. Maybe you're not actually frustrated with that project; you might be feeling unfulfilled in your current career. You don't feel like you're living up to your potential. So you quit, you embark on a new journey, and you find yourself feeling more passionate and motivated than ever. A few months later, let's say you meet someone who expresses something similar. They're unhappy with their job, they're feeling unfulfilled, and you can understand what that's like. You can sympathize because you went through that same kind of struggle, and that compassion will bring the two of you closer together.

Exploring your emotions can work wonders for your personal relationships because everyone has feelings. Everyone has dreams, wishes, and fears, but the only way to understand someone else's feelings is to understand your own.

Explosive emotions

Many people who push down their feelings have explosive tempers. They lash out at the most random times, getting furious over small things like chores or even a bad joke. But 99% of the time, they're angry about something else entirely. There's a limit to how many emotions that you can stuff down. Imagine your mind like an empty balloon; each time that you stifle your feelings, you pump a little bit more air into your balloon. But eventually, it's going to get full; the sides won't be able to hold all that air anymore. Each time your temper flares, it's like popping your balloon. Even though you've been filling it with air over time, it only takes one pump too many to make that balloon burst.

Now, for some people, that explosion makes them yell and scream. For others, it makes them cry or pout. Either way, explosive emotions can be a huge inconvenience on you and the people in your life. These fits can damage your relationships, get in the way of your work, and make you do things that you'll ultimately regret. So every so often, let some air out of your balloon. Regularly check in with yourself about your feelings, and that way, your emotions won't flare up anytime soon.

Emotion	Description	Impact
Denial	Avoiding the acknowledgment of an unpleasant reality	Can lead to increased stress and anxiety
Displacement	Redirecting emotions to a safer outlet	Can damage relationships and cause misunderstandings
Regression	Reverting to a childlike state to cope with stress	Can result in immature behavior and conflict

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