Understanding Crush Signals
Number One: Spatial Boundaries
Does your crush stand close enough to reach out and touch you? If the answer is yes, your crush has crossed an important spatial boundary. Personal space is a subtle but powerful way to analyze different relationships. The general rule is the more space you have between you, the less familiar you are. A complete stranger, for example, would keep a comfortable distance away from you. A close friend, on the other hand, would have no problem entering your personal bubble.
This concept comes from a field called proxemics, which was coined by Edward Hall in 1963. He says that there are four different zones of personal space, each one reflecting a varying degree of closeness. So how can personal space help you figure out whether or not your crush likes you?
Let's say you have a crush on one of your co-workers, and one day your crush asks if you'll help them with a project. When your crush sits down right next to you, how close are they? If you're shoulder to shoulder, then your crush may be welcoming you into their personal space and trying to get comfortable in yours. So don't let this huge signal go unnoticed! If your crush invites you into their personal bubble, they may think of you as more than a friend.
Number Two: Calculated Contact
According to a 2018 review from the Psychological Bulletin, a small touch is a nearly universal sign of attraction. This review collected data from seven of the most widely referenced research studies on romantic attraction. Together, these seven studies reveal which kinds of romantic body language are used by people around the world.
Physical touch appeared in almost every single one of these studies. Touching another person, no matter how briefly, can express powerful emotions in a physical way. It also establishes a more intimate bond with that person, crossing intimate boundaries like personal space. So pay attention to the way your crush uses physical touch. A simple touch on the arm may only last a second, but it could mean a whole lot more.
Number Three: Self-Soothing
In the same 2018 review, another type of physical touch appeared time after time. Instead of touching another person, some people show their interest by touching themselves. They'll touch their hands to their cheeks, intertwine their fingers, or fiddle with their hair. While there are many different ways to make contact with yourself, they all send the same kind of message. You make contact with yourself when you're feeling tense, anxious, or under pressure.
Sometimes it's a good kind of pressure, like butterflies in your stomach before a date. Other times it's a sign of stress, like waiting for someone to deliver bad news. The hard part is you never really know which one you're looking at. So how can you tell the difference between good self-soothing and bad self-soothing?
Well, the key is context. If your crush is nervously rubbing their arms while staring at the door, this probably isn't a sign that they have feelings for you. Instead, it's more likely a sign they feel uncomfortable or trapped. So it's important to read these signals together. If your crush likes you, their feelings won't affect just one of the things they do. Attraction changes all kinds of things about the way you behave and carry yourself. One signal, no matter how strong, is never enough to know how someone really feels.
Number Four: Reciprocal Expression
Does your crush show affection the same way you do? Everyone has a different way of expressing their emotions, especially attraction. Some people use compliments to tell their partners how much they appreciate them. Others use physical touch or quality time to show the important people in their lives that they care.
But how does all this relate to your crush? Most people show affection the same way they want to receive affection. So if your crush understands how you express yourself, they'll start to express themselves in the same way.
Just imagine you like getting gifts for the people you care about. You just love buying meaningful presents for every occasion, just to show people that you're thinking of them. So if your crush likes you, they may return the favor. They'll get you a meaningful gift because they understand that gift-giving is how you express your emotions.
Number Five: Attention from Friends
Have you ever spent time with your crush's friends? Did they make an effort to get to know you, or did they spend the whole night pretending that you didn't exist? Your crush's friends can be a reliable indicator of how your crush really feels. If their friends are trying to bond with you, then they're most likely trying to test you or to see what kind of person you are.
Chances are, behind the scenes, your crush has been telling their friends about you. Maybe they've gushed about all the flirty conversations you've had and have told their friends time and time again how great you are. So now their friends want to see for themselves. If your crush's friends have taken a personal interest in you, your crush may see you as someone special.
Number Six: Unspoken Tension
Is there tension in the air every time you talk to your crush? When thinking about romance, tension isn't the first thing that comes to mind. But when two people secretly like each other, those unspoken feelings create electricity in the air. Why is that? Because every moment, every word you say is charged with emotion and uncertainty. Both of you are sitting there wondering who will make the first move. Both of you are analyzing each other, trying to figure out how the other person really feels.
But this tension is not a bad thing—not at all. If you experience moments of tension like this, it means there are sparks flying. Yeah, they're nerve-wracking and confusing, but tension is a dead giveaway that things are more complicated than you thought.
Number Seven: Mundane Conversations
What do you and your crush talk about? Do you cover mundane subjects like work, school, or what you had for lunch? Believe it or not, these simple conversations really bring people closer together. It's a tell-tale sign that your relationship has progressed beyond a casual friendship.
Each time you have these mundane conversations, you're spilling intimate details about your life. Most people think opening up means getting personal, answering hard questions, or telling someone about the hurdles that you've overcome. But you and your crush will bond when you get involved in each other's lives.
Maybe you tell them about the little things that annoyed you at work or how you said something stupid to your boss this morning. Neither of these conversations are particularly exciting or tragic, but then again, most stories aren't. If your crush still cares and asks for more, then they're interested in getting to know the real you.
Number Eight: Standing Beside You
Does your crush stand next to you in a crowd? Do they always take the chair beside you when you go out to eat? These things don't happen by accident. If your crush is always standing or sitting near you, your crush is trying to send you a message. They want to be closer to you. Deep down, they feel the most comfortable right next to you.
So they'll stand beside you whenever they can. Your crush may push through a crowded room just to find you and stand next to you, even if that means pushing someone else out of the way.
Number Nine: Consistent Engagement
Instead of staring at their phone or looking out the window, your crush pays attention when you talk. They make eye contact; they ask questions. If your crush actively engages with the conversation, they care about what you have to say. Now, of course, engagement isn't always a sign of romantic interest. In some cases, your crush is just interested in what you're talking about, or maybe they're engaged because they think of you as a close friend.
Either way, engagement means that your crush cares about you on some level. Otherwise, they wouldn't bother listening to you in the first place. So don't take their listening habits for granted. Most people will tune you out or leave the conversation. If your crush sticks around, it means they care.
Number Ten: Endless Questions
Boring questions, especially over text, are a common sign of romantic interest. Let's say you've reached a lull in the conversation. You just finished telling a story, but now there isn't anything left to say. But suddenly, your crush fills the silence with a random question. They ask about your favorite food or what you did last weekend. Chances are, they don't really care about those specific answers.
They just want to keep the conversation going. They're not ready to say goodbye just yet. They want to keep connecting. So your crush may ask every single boring question they can think of. And if this sounds like your crush, they may see you as more than a friend.
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