Confidence Boosting Techniques
Number one identify commonalities.
Comparisons destroy confidence even when you feel good about yourself.
Comparisons can cause lasting damage to your self-esteem or maybe you see someone who's more attractive than you are or maybe more successful than you are. Maybe you feel intimidated by a social butterfly. You may wish you could navigate the social world as well as they do. These comparisons emphasize the differences between you and them. You highlight the best things about someone else while focusing on the worst things about yourself.
You too are far more alike than different. Just think about your most vulnerable moments: washing your hair in the shower, putting your pants on in the morning, tossing and turning in your bed at night. You experience dozens of small, vulnerable human moments throughout the day, and so does everyone else.
The people that intimidate you, the people you think are more attractive, confident, or charismatic than you are—they wake up, they shower, and they get dressed the same way you do. They make clumsy mistakes, they sing in the car, they spill coffee on their shirt. They're regular people just like you. So, anything they can do, you can do too. If you want to trick yourself into being more confident, just remember how similar everyone really is.
Don't put strangers up on a pedestal because it doesn't matter how good-looking or outgoing someone seems; at the end of the day, they're no different from you, and you're no different from them.
Artificial Comfort Zones
Comfort zones are another powerful way to inspire confidence. Everyone has their personal comfort zone—a circle of places, people, and activities where you feel the most comfortable. Inside this bubble, you act the most like yourself because you know, understand, and feel control within your personal comfort zone.
You draw power and confidence from the boundary between familiar and unfamiliar, comfortable and uncomfortable.
In the same way, you can create artificial comfort zones to trick yourself into feeling more confident. An artificial comfort zone is a comfortable boundary you create inside of an uncomfortable situation. There are a few different ways you can do this. The first is physical. Whether you're going out to a new restaurant or networking at a conference, just latch onto a physical location where you feel a sense of comfort. Maybe you have a table all to yourself, or you found a corner of the room where you feel comfortable. It really doesn't matter what kind of physical boundary you choose, because inside this physical space, you are in control. You know who comes in and who goes, and just like that, a small physical boundary turns an overwhelming social event into something easy and manageable.
But social events aren't the only uncomfortable situations that you'll face. So, the second kind of artificial comfort zone is a restriction. Many people use this method for their social media. They control the people they follow, the posts they read, and the images they see. They use limitations and privacy to control their social life, and that gives them confidence because they know who they can see and who can see them. Finally, you can use time as a kind of comfort zone. Let's say your friends want to go to a concert, but you're not feeling very confident. You can trick yourself into feeling more confident by creating a time frame. You may say something like, "I'll enjoy myself from 8 to 10, and then I'll go back home." It's easier to come out of your shell when you know it's going to end sometime soon. The promise of comfort relieves your anxiety and tricks you into feeling more confident.
Negative Countering
When you're feeling anxious, negative thoughts take over your brain. It may feel like you can't escape these self-deprecating patterns. All you can think about is failure or inadequacy.
But there are ways to counter those negative thoughts and reorient your brain toward a positive state of mind. One powerful trick is called negative countering. The goal is to counter your negative thoughts with a surplus of positive thoughts. So, for every negative thing that pops into your head, just think of five positive thoughts. Each time you worry you're not good enough, give yourself five reasons why that's not true. This technique directly combats destructive thought patterns and tricks your mind into feeling significantly more confident. The first time you do it, it may feel challenging. You may struggle to think of five positive thoughts, but as you repeat the process, it will get easier and easier. Your mindset will grow more and more positive until you think positive thoughts without even trying. Just like that, forced positivity can evolve into genuine confidence.
Self-Empowerment
Here's another great way to trick yourself into being confident: do something you're really good at. No matter what you're passionate about, your talents are a wonderful source of confidence.
So use your passions and talents to inspire yourself and trick your brain into feeling confident. Let's say you have an important phone call with your boss in 20 minutes, but you're nervous about how it's going to go. Don't spend those 20 minutes worrying. Instead, do something that you're good at. If you're an artist, then draw something. If you're a musician, play your favorite instrument. Use your talents to give you a burst of confidence. That way, when you're on the phone with your boss, you won't feel nervous or shy. You'll feel confident and capable because you just spent time doing something you love.
Physical Confidence
Physical confidence often translates into psychological confidence. If you want to trick yourself into being confident, make sure you look the part. The way you dress, the way you style your hair, the time you spend getting ready—all of these things can dramatically affect your mindset because exterior confidence opens the door for interior confidence.
In other words, if you're happy with the way you look, you're more likely to act like yourself. But let's get one thing straight: the goal of this technique is not to impress other people. You're not changing the way you dress so that other people will envy or admire you. If that's your goal, you're not drawing confidence from your own personal satisfaction. Instead, you're relying on shallow external rewards, and those rarely ever inspire confidence in the long run. So, spend time on your appearance because you like the way you look. Change the way you dress because it makes you happy. Just do it for yourself, and a lasting confidence will follow.
Channel Your Talents
Your memory can help you rediscover confidence from your past. Before you enter an uncomfortable situation, just take a few moments for yourself. Sit somewhere quiet, close your eyes, and think back on the most important moment in your life. Revisit the memories in which you felt confident, powerful, or inspired.
Think about your achievements, the accomplishments you're proud of, the obstacles that you've overcome. Picture those moments as vividly as you can and remember all the hard work you invested in each of those achievements. After revisiting empowering and inspiring memories, those memories change your mental state. You'll find yourself operating with more confidence than ever. When you're feeling nervous, you may forget all the reasons why you deserve to feel confident. You get so wrapped up with stress and anxiety that your achievements just fall by the wayside. That's why it's so important to use these quiet moments to revisit those memories and re-inspire yourself. You have plenty of great reasons to feel confident in yourself. All you have to do is remember.
Overcome Your Failures
How often do you think about past mistakes? Do you lie awake at night, stewing over each one of your failures?
For many people, this bad habit is surprisingly routine. They consistently remind themselves why and how they failed, but this negative pattern can destroy your confidence. So, how can your failure create confidence? How do past mistakes trick your brain into performing even better? To take advantage of this trick, you have to change the way you think about failure. Failure is not a reason to feel stressed or nervous. Failure is a reason to feel empowered, to feel confident, because each time you fail, you're learning something new. You're moving one step closer to accomplishing your goal.
So it didn't work out last time. You made mistakes, but those mistakes led you here and will help you perform even better the next time around. Just think about each failure as one step in the right direction, and use those lessons to inspire confidence moving forward.
Change Your Breath
Sometimes a few breaths can transform your attitude. You may feel swept up in your own negativity.
You may not realize that you're drowning in stress and anxiety, but a small change of pace can snap you back to reality. There's no right or wrong way to change your breathing. The only thing that matters is the change itself. Instead of breathing unconsciously, take a moment to focus on your breath. Breathe long and deep. Hold your breath for five or ten-second intervals. Take a few short breaths and then a few long ones. Any combination works because changing your breath resets your mental state. It provides an escape from destructive ideas and negative patterns.
A change in breathing reminds you that everything is under control, that you can accomplish anything that you set your mind to. So, if you're feeling overwhelmed, just breathe. Breathe intentionally and deeply. You'll find yourself wielding a new sense of confidence.
Conclusion
These techniques can help you boost your confidence and tackle life's challenges with a positive mindset. Remember, everyone is human, and everyone has vulnerabilities. Embrace your strengths and continue to grow.
| Technique | Description |
|---|---|
| Identify Commonalities | Recognize similarities with others to boost confidence. |
| Artificial Comfort Zones | Create familiar boundaries in unfamiliar situations. |
| Negative Countering | Counter negative thoughts with positive ones. |
| Self-Empowerment | Engage in activities you excel at to boost confidence. |
| Physical Confidence | Enhance self-esteem through appearance for inner confidence. |
| Channel Your Talents | Use past achievements to inspire current confidence. |
| Overcome Your Failures | Learn from mistakes to build future confidence. |
| Change Your Breath | Use breathing techniques to reset your mindset. |
