Living a Happier Life
Number One: Pursue the Immaterial
Now I won't try to convince you that material possessions are a waste of time or that they're worthless and insignificant. Sometimes, material goods are the most valuable things that we know; they can embody emotions, memories, and even people. They can remind you of a time in your life that you'd nearly forgotten. There's nothing wrong with physical reminders of how you grew into the person that you are. But you can't expect titles and objects to transform you into the person you aspire to be.
People who dream of success often fantasize about their material life, the house they live in, the car they drive. These luxuries can bring you many things: pleasure, thrill, self-importance, but they're all temporary. As soon as they're over and the dust is settled, you'll feel empty again. It won't be long until you're dreaming of a new toy to fill that same hole in your life. Instead, pursue the kind of happiness that lasts. Invest in immaterial treasures like knowledge, passion, and companionship. Real happiness stems from the breadth of your life, not how much it costs.
Number Two: Welcome Wonder
As the world becomes more and more interconnected, wonder is a feeling that you rarely experience. Why drive to the Grand Canyon when you can look at pictures online? For a lot of people, especially teenagers and young adults, overexposure has sucked that childlike sense of excitement out of so many amazing things.
Think back to the last time you flew on a plane. Did you ever look out the window? Did you admire the clouds or smile at how small your city looks from thousands of feet in the air? Most people don't. They're too wrapped up in their own lives and habits to notice the little things.
To live your happiest life, let yourself feel awestruck. Create opportunities to be speechless and maybe even a little scared. No matter where you are, you're constantly surrounded by the extraordinary. So take a few minutes each day to slow down and enjoy the view.
Number Three: Dispel Grudges
In life, conflict is inevitable. One way or another, you'll run into people who frustrate you, hurt you, and deprive you of things that you feel you deserve. If you let them, those conflicts can haunt you for years, looming over everything that you do.
The longer you hang on to them, the more they infect the healthier, happier parts of your life. One malicious person, for example, can damage the trust you have in other friends and family members. But there's a big difference between learning from conflict and holding a grudge.
Instead of growing and progressing, grudges keep you from ever moving forward. No matter what conflicts you've experienced, you should practice forgiveness. Retain each lesson, but let go of that lingering negativity. You'll live a much happier life without it.
Number Four: Expose Weakness
You are your biggest critic. Most of us could list a dozen things we wish we could change about ourselves, but we don't want anybody else to know it. In fact, many of us surround ourselves with people who only really know our strengths. Not only is this difficult to maintain, it's also extremely lonely.
You can find happiness by exposing your flaws, unearthing the weaknesses that every person on the planet has in spades. When you find someone you can trust, don't hesitate to open up and encourage them to do the same.
Some people think vulnerability means telling a sob story to get attention, but it's really about connecting with someone on a deeper level. Feeling like there's someone in the world who accepts who you are without your social masks. As you make more and more connections, you'll grow to accept yourself, flaws and all.
Number Five: Manage Limits
The vast majority of people don't set aside enough time for self-care. To live a happier life, you have to know your limits. You can't pursue your goals and make memories all day, every day. The truth is you only have so much energy to give, so when you find yourself running on empty, make time to relax and rejuvenate.
Try not to overexert yourself if you don't have to. When it comes to physical and mental health, you need to prioritize yourself. Make time to diminish stress, check your habits, and enjoy your personal passions. Without self-care, you'll find yourself feeling drained and uninterested even if you're doing all kinds of exciting things. You won't have the energy to invest like you normally do. It's like sabotaging your own experiences.
A lack of self-care also damages your relationships. To keep your friendships strong, you need space. Both you and your friend should take time apart; otherwise, you'll start to get sick of each other and the relationship will suffer in the long run. So if you're feeling exhausted, don't pressure yourself to power through. Pay attention to your limits and set aside plenty of time to recharge your batteries.
Number Six: Restful Empathy
Loneliness can feel like an endless maze. The moment you start making progress, you run into a wall and have to start all over again. But a recent study found that bad sleeping habits make you even lonelier. Why? Because your brain closes itself off when it's tired. It rejects, it puts up emotional walls, and it struggles with empathy. So if you want to feel happier, make sure you're getting enough sleep. It's not a foolproof cure, but it will keep your loneliness at bay.
Number Seven: Surrender Control
Some of the best things in life happen out of the blue. A complete stranger might become one of your closest friends. You might accidentally stumble upon an ad for your dream job. The element of surprise will always play an important role in your life. The most random experiences can bring more excitement, novelty, and happiness than anything you could ever plan. So stop trying to control every teeny tiny thing that happens to you.
Some certainty and stability are nice, but too much can trap you inside a bubble. It'll keep you from stepping outside your comfort zone. Instead, you should expand your horizons by leaving room for the unexpected.
Number Eight: Embrace Mistakes
Being right is overrated. It sounds good, and it can make you feel good, but embracing your mistakes is much more important than being right. Instead of trying to one-up everyone, get used to being wrong. You should willingly admit when you don't know something. Uncertainty isn't anything to be scared of.
This change will make you a more enjoyable person to talk to while leaving you feeling open and self-assured.
Number Nine: Practice Patience
When you're excited about achieving a goal or revamping your self-image, the last thing you want to do is wait. It's frustrating to find out that your dreams are months or even years away, but the best ones usually are.
So how do you avoid feeling restless and unsatisfied? It's crucial that you practice patience on a daily basis. That means learning how to bide your time without letting your motivation slip. The truth is that a long wait is often necessary to solidify your ideals.
You need to give yourself time to think. You should use that time to consider different perspectives and how each decision could impact your lifestyle. Patient reflection also weeds out the good from the bad. It distinguishes an impulsive short-lived feeling from your long-term ambitions. So before you make any big changes in your life, slow yourself down. Don't rush to the end just because you're excited. You'll make it there eventually. However, you need to lay down the proper foundation first. You need to learn and prepare. That way, when you do find happiness, you'll be ready for it.
Number Ten: Environmental Happiness
Surround yourself with friends that introduce positivity into your life. Too many people cling to toxic relationships and then wonder why they're constantly feeling down. I can't overstate how big of an impact your loved ones have on your mood and mental state. If you're spending time with the wrong people, you have to make a change.
It's critical that your friends support and inspire you, and you should do the same for them. Happiness is something you have to find internally, but a poor support system can and will hold you back.
Number Eleven: Habitual Addition
If you want to rid yourself of a bad habit, how should you get started? Let's say you spend too much time on social media. You notice that it's making you feel sad and unmotivated. To change your behavior, you might hone in on the exact amount of time that you waste each day. Holding that number in your head, your goal might be to subtract as much social media from your life as you can.
But when you cut something out, you don't have anything to fill the hole it leaves behind. It's much easier to fall back into old habits when you aren't sure how else to spend your time. To live a happier life, you should add good habits instead of subtracting bad ones.
For example, if you create more time for reading, you won't have as much time to spend browsing social media. That way, you focus on doing things that make you happy instead of avoiding things that don't.
Number Twelve: Lose Expectations
While anyone can give back, very few people can give without expecting some sort of reward. This expectation is ingrained within your biology. Throughout the evolution of humanity, we've grown through trade and exchange. We'll dedicate time, money, and services, but only if we receive something of equal value. In other words, you've been conditioned to always expect something in return.
But this expectation ignores the most significant part of giving back. It's not about what you get; it's about making someone else's life a tiny bit better, easier, or happier. Those altruistic feelings will stick with you for the rest of your days. So to live a happier life, make a habit of giving without those expectations.
Strategy | Benefits |
---|---|
Pursue the Immaterial | Lasting happiness from knowledge and relationships. |
Welcome Wonder | Feel awestruck and appreciate life's little moments. |
Dispel Grudges | Free yourself from negativity and move forward. |
Expose Weakness | Build deeper connections and self-acceptance. |
Manage Limits | Ensure self-care and maintain strong relationships. |
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