Breaking Bad Habits

Identifying Patterns

Have you been struggling with the same bad habit for years? Maybe you can't stop procrastinating. You stall every project; you avoid chores at home; you put off simple things like buying holiday presents for your friends and family. You know you have to do these things, but instead of taking action, you wait and you wait and you wait until you can't wait any longer. Suddenly, you're rushing to the finish line, your work suffers, and your stress skyrockets.

Or maybe you struggle with moderation. Every time you do something, you may overdo it: you eat too much, you drink too much, you watch too much TV. It feels like you have no self-control or self-discipline because you never know when enough is enough. Somehow, you always cross that line. These destructive behaviors create negative patterns or loops; they become ingrained in your lifestyle over weeks, months, and years. But by identifying those bad habits, you're already on a path toward lasting change.

The first step toward change is realizing that change is necessary. Most people are blind to the bad habits that plague their lives. They don't realize how much they procrastinate; they don't realize how often they go overboard. They close their eyes to all the things they don't like about themselves, but you've gained enough perspective to recognize your destructive patterns. You realize that procrastination is a vicious cycle that leaves you rushed, stressed, and anxious. You discovered that your lack of self-control is hurting others and impacting your lifestyle.

So instead of turning a blind eye to your bad habits, you've given them a name. You've identified the loops and cycles that entrap you on a regular basis. You know what your bad habits are, but how do you begin to change them?

Wanting Change

Whether you procrastinate or cross the line, just think about how you feel afterward. Like most people, you may look back with regret the morning after. You may think about your bad habits and wonder, "Why did I do that? When are these destructive behaviors going to stop?" The choice is in your hands. The second step to changing your bad habits is deciding that it's time to change.

Most of us have moments after a rough night or a bad decision when we think about changing. You realize something's wrong; you realize in that moment that you have a bad habit, and you say, "I'm never going to do that ever again." But a few days later, you're stuck in the exact same position. That's because you never truly decided to change. Even if you recognize that something is bad for you, definitive change requires a different mentality.

It's not something you tell yourself out of the blue. It doesn't happen at the drop of a hat. Change requires a firm commitment to yourself, your health, and your growth. On the road to change, it's the hardest decision you're going to make. So how do you decide when it's time to make a change? Before you decide to change, you have to want to change. If you don't want to change, you'll never have the motivation to follow through on your decision.

So ask yourself, "Do I want to change? Am I unhappy with the bad habits I have right now? Do I want to better myself?" If you don't know the answers to these questions, then you may not be ready, and hey, that's okay. But if you can firmly answer all of these questions, then your mind has been made up. You're ready to change, so let's bring that important decision to life.

Setting Your Goals

You've decided to change your bad habits, but before you can take action, you need a clear idea of where you're going. You need to know more about the path you're going to follow. That's why step number three is setting achievable goals. But there's a right and a wrong way to set goals. Many people shoot for the stars, hoping lofty ambitions will drive their bad habits away, but bad habits will never disappear overnight.

Remember that these patterns have developed over years of poor self-discipline. You've been trapped inside these negative loops for so long; they've become ingrained in your behavior. They feel natural to you; they become an unconscious part of your lifestyle and routine. That's why obtainable goal setting is vital to your growth and improvement.

The road to change is like climbing out of a hole that you've been digging for years. You can't scale those walls in one giant leap. Instead, you're going to use small, obtainable goals to gradually climb higher and higher. You'll form new, more positive patterns, which like your bad habits, will become ingrained in your lifestyle over time. Eventually, good habits will feel as natural and as easy as bad habits.

Table of Steps to Change

But you have to stick with them for a long time. You have to keep accomplishing small goals over and over again, and if you can do that, those goals will carry you into a happier and healthier life. So what do these small, obtainable goals look like? As you overcome bad habits, your goals should stimulate small but significant growth every day. Try to do a little bit better than the day before, but only a little bit.

If your work ethic crumbles after 15 minutes, try 20 minutes today, then 25 minutes tomorrow, then 30 minutes the day after that. Set a goal to work for five extra minutes every day without getting distracted. It may not seem like much in the moment, but those little bits of progress will snowball over time and create lasting change. By design, small goals feel relatively easy to accomplish. Anyone can work for five extra minutes, but don't discount the changes you're making.

Feel proud of your small five-minute improvements. Celebrate any and all progress that you're making. Even the smallest changes can help you alter an old habit because each change reinforces a new, healthier mindset. You're creating a stronger belief in yourself while ingraining into your brain a new set of positive routines. So brainstorm small, obtainable goals. Take whatever good habits you want to develop and shrink them down into 5, 10, or 15-minute increments. When you've created these goals, weave them into your daily life and perform these rituals every day. Because each time you improve, even if it's just a tiny bit, you're growing into a better version of yourself.

Locking in Your Aspirations

Saying, "I want to change" is rarely enough. Even if you set obtainable goals, there's no guarantee that you're going to follow through, right? Luckily, you can use two different strengthening techniques to lock in your ambitions. First, write down your goals and aspirations. If you really want to change, start by grabbing a pen and paper, then write down what you want to change about yourself and why. Write in as much or as little detail as you want, whatever sticks in your head.

Make it personal; make it specific; make it relate to your everyday life. Address your habits directly because this piece of paper is going to help you stay focused. It's going to remind you every day that change is coming, that you have the power to overcome your bad habits and toxic patterns. Each time you think about procrastinating, read this paper and remember that you want to change. Before a night out, read this paper and remind yourself that moderation is key. Remind yourself that you're not going to get carried away, that you're aspiring to make a real change in your life.

Now, as simple as this trick sounds, written rules and goals are critical on the road toward lasting change. Even if you've made up your mind, temptation will challenge your resolve, and in those difficult moments, your brain will search for reasons to give in, reasons to go back to the way things used to be. Imagine sitting in front of your computer screen trying to get some work done; your brain will feel tempted to surrender to temptation, to browse social media, or watch an episode of something on Netflix.

It will do anything to avoid the obstacle standing in front of you, but each time you feel this undeniable temptation, you can read your written aspirations. You can remind yourself how badly you want to change, and your own words will empower you to persevere. Writing rules isn't the only way to keep your temptations in check. You can also create accountability by telling your loved ones about your decision.

Pick a handful of people closest to you, people that you see on a regular basis. Tell them what you want to change about yourself, explain to them your reasons why, and emphasize how important this improvement is to you. By telling another person, your goals become real. Your intentions materialize because now someone else is expecting something of you. They want to see you succeed just like you do. They're hoping for you to change, and that hope will help you rise to the occasion.

Accountability is a huge motivator for many people. No one wants to let their friends and family down. You want to proudly show them that you can change for the better. While making your loved ones happy shouldn't be your primary motivation, it certainly pushes you toward healthier habits. In the beginning stages of change, motivation is motivation, no matter where it comes from.

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