The Changing Chemistry of Love

When you fall in love, it changes the chemistry of your brain. Not only does love release exciting hormones and create new emotions, it also inspires your brain to give up bad habits. Addictive behaviors, for example, are easier for your brain to ignore when you fall in love. According to a 2017 study from the journal PLOS ONE, passionate love diminishes your reactivity to addictive behavior. In other words, love is so distracting that your brain stops craving your bad habits. If you ever want to change your bad habits, do it at the beginning of a relationship. Love will make it much easier to let go of your addictions.

A Loving Look

If someone really loves you, you'll see it in their eyes. Alright, let's say you're having dinner with your partner. Do they spend the entire date looking around the room or do they spend it staring at you? When you look at someone you love, your brain releases a chemical called oxytocin, also known as the love or cuddle hormone. Because of this hormone, you view your partner as more desirable than anyone else in the world. In other words, if your partner is staring at you, it's because they're in love with you.

Predictive Brain Scans

How do you know if you and your partner will stay together? Many people think relationships are a guessing game, but researchers beg to differ. According to a 2011 study in the journal Human Brain Mapping, brain scans show whether or not your love is going to last. Researchers scanned the brains of people in the early stages of a relationship. All brain scans showed signs of love, but only a few scans showed activity in the reward and motivation centers of the brain. It turns out this group was far more likely to stay with their partners. Researchers checked in with their participants 18 months later and found most of these couples were still happily in love.

Instinctual Guarding

Falling in love means embracing vulnerability, but it's not always natural or easy. For many people, love has an adverse reaction. Instead of encouraging them to open up, they become guarded and distant. This is especially problematic for men who struggle with commitment. They're scared to express themselves or put their emotions on the line. So once they do fall in love, they pull away. Luckily, patience and good communication can bring these walls crumbling down.

Attentional Migration

Why do you want to know every little thing about your partner? Normally, we only pay attention to the big stuff: life changes, crises, success stories. Even with friends and family, we rarely pay attention to the tiny details of their life. But romantic love changes the way we pay attention physically and emotionally. We fall in love with the smallest details. We notice minuscule changes in a partner's appearance. We notice insignificant quirks and habits. We care about the details of their day, the people they talk to, and even the food they ate. When you notice and care about these tiny details, your brain is in love.

Verbal Grouping

When your partner makes plans, do they say "I" or "we"? After falling in love, our language begins to change. Without realizing it, we stop referring to ourselves and start referring to our relationship as a single unit. So instead of saying "I'm going to a holiday party this weekend," you may instinctively say "we're going to a holiday party this weekend." This change in language tells you two things: you're happy in your relationship and you're in it for the long term.

A Smooth Compromise

In any healthy relationship, compromise is key. But did you know that love makes it easier to compromise? The more love-struck you are, the more willing you are to compromise with your partner. When you love someone, you care about their needs as much as your own. You want them to feel satisfied and supported even if you have to give something up. But what if you're not in love? If you're in a relationship but not in love, you're less willing to compromise your needs. You care about yourself more than your partner, so you're more likely to be stubborn.

Cycle of Appreciation

Loving partners want to make each other happy, so they enjoy doing favors and making small sacrifices. But love thrives off of gratitude. If you do your partner a favor, but they don't appreciate you, your feelings of love can backfire. That disappointment will discourage you from doing your partner favors in the future. But what if your partner does appreciate your contributions? Their gratitude rewards and recognizes your love, and that keeps your partnership strong and healthy.

Longer Lives

Does love impact your physical health? According to Harvard Health Publishing, long-term relationships may increase the lifespan of the average male. Men in relationships are not only living longer, they're also happier. On average, committed men are more satisfied, less anxious, and physically healthier than men who are single. Now, love doesn't guarantee every man a long and healthy life, but the results speak for themselves.

Loving the Opposition

Do opposites attract? Many people wonder whether partners should be similar or different. The answer is a little bit of both. Relationships are stronger when partners have similar interests and values. But that doesn't mean you and your partner should be exactly the same. Personality differences, for example, improve the likelihood of long-term love. Just think about relationships like a puzzle. If you have two of the same puzzle pieces, well, they aren't going to fit together. You only need one of each puzzle piece to make a puzzle. That's why a loving relationship contains two different puzzle pieces, which complement each other's strengths. If you found the right person, your opposite edges will fit together perfectly.

Love in Music

Do your favorite songs make you think of your crush? When you're in love, you naturally associate music with the person you love. Music is a natural source of passion, emotion, and energy. If you're in love, your brain associates all of those things with your partner or your crush. So don't be surprised if every song reminds you of love.

Beating Together

According to a 2013 study from the University of California, Davis, couples connect on a unique physical level. Researchers found that heartbeats will synchronize when partners stare into each other's eyes. Loving partners develop such a strong bond their hearts actually beat together.

Finding Love Again

Divorce is one of the scariest things in any relationship. You thought you found your soul mate. You may have spent many happy years together, but your relationship started to fall apart. Eventually, it disappeared altogether. But that doesn't mean that you'll never love again. A small percentage of people find lifelong happiness in their first marriage. Around 40% of first marriages end in divorce or separation, but a majority of those people marry again. So if you've experienced a divorce, remember that divorce isn't the end of your love life. Sooner or later, you may find someone you love even more.

Brightening Your Life

According to a 2014 study in the Journal of Personality, love can change your entire outlook on the world. This study tested 245 young adults over a nine-month period. They discovered that individuals in love were significantly more optimistic than people who weren't. In other words, the presence of a partner can change the way you think and make the world a brighter place.

Soul Mates on a Plane

You never know when or where you'll fall in love. You may fall for a close friend. You may develop feelings for someone at work, or maybe you'll find love in the skies. According to a survey of 50,000 travelers, 1 in 50 people met someone they loved during a flight. So the next time you're on a plane, talk to the people sitting next to you. You never know who you might meet.

The Scent of Love

Vision isn't the only sense that creates love and attraction. Smell plays an equally important role. The chemicals or pheromones inside your partner create a specific scent. If you're attracted to someone, you're drawn to their smell just like you're drawn to their appearance. Many partners wear each other's clothes and sleep on each other's pillows because they love their partner's individual scent.

The Perfect Recipe

What's the secret to a long and healthy relationship? According to a 2014 study in the journal Personal Relationships, the answer is honesty. Researchers told couples periodically to share their feelings and intentions about the future of their relationship. They discovered that couples who were honest were much more likely to stay together. There's no foolproof recipe to make your relationship last, but research shows that honesty plays a substantial role.

Faithful Intelligence

About 22% of partners are unfaithful at least once. But not all partners are likely to cheat. Studies have shown that unfaithful partners, on average, are less intelligent and score lower on IQ tests. On the other hand, highly intelligent partners are far less likely to be unfaithful.

Closeness in Comedy

What's the best way to bond with your partner? A 2015 study in the Journal of Personal Relationships recommends watching comedy. When couples laugh together, they form strong, positive bonds. Together, laughter and love foster closeness and improve the quality of your relationship. So find time to watch comedy with your partner because few things bring couples closer than laughter.

Topic	Description
Changing Chemistry	Love alters brain chemistry, making it easier to ignore bad habits.
Loving Look	Oxytocin release makes partners more desirable.
Predictive Brain Scans	Brain activity can predict relationship longevity.
Instinctual Guarding	Love can cause vulnerability, leading to guarded behavior.
Attentional Migration	Love makes us notice minute details about our partners.

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