Persuasion Techniques

1. Underhanded Friendship

Recently, a social psychologist named Robert Cialdini developed a theory that changed the way we look at persuasion. He defined the principles of persuasion, outlining some of the most common ways we influence other people. But what's really interesting is that most of them don't fit the usual stereotype. When you think about persuasive tactics, what do you imagine? Probably something clever, tricky, and manipulative. But Cialdini shows us a different side of being persuasive.

He claims that it's not about outsmarting the other person; it's about changing the dynamic of your relationship. Friendship is a great example. Let's say you're looking to buy a car. Your salesman might spend the first 15 minutes talking about anything but the car itself. They might tell you some jokes; they might try to bond with you. But they don't really want to be your friend. They're trying to have a bigger influence on your decision.

That's why perceived friendship is the first of the principles of persuasion. You believe in your friends; you assume they've got your best interests in mind. So, the next time someone gets a little too friendly, just make sure they aren't trying to sway your decision.

2. False Limitations

Most of us encounter this next principle of persuasion on a daily basis. It's called scarcity. Essentially, you change people's minds by making something sound more rare than it actually is. You make them think it's going to run out, so it becomes more valuable. Just think about those limited edition shoes or electronics. Most of the time, they're not any better than the original, but they're rare, so customers will do anything to get one.

Businesses use this trick all the time. So don't fall for it; just because something is limited, that doesn't mean it's worth buying.

3. Misleading Opinions

Conformity has a powerful effect on our behavior. When you see others acting a certain way, you feel compelled to follow in their footsteps. You rely on the world to show you what's right and wrong. But sometimes you rely on the world too much. You might even ignore your better judgment just to fit in. Cialdini calls this persuasive tool consensus, but it was discovered long before he developed his principles of persuasion.

In 1935, a psychologist named Solomon Asch conducted a series of conformity experiments. The premise was really simple: would participants abandon their logic in favor of social conformity? In other words, would they choose the wrong answer if that's what everyone else was doing? It turns out conformity plays a huge role in our decision-making. While less than 1% of participants got the answer wrong when they were alone, over 75% of participants picked the wrong answer at least once in a group setting.

So, what does this research tell us? If everyone else is doing something, that doesn't mean you should too.

4. Calculated Concessions

Just because you think you're winning an argument, that doesn't mean you actually are. This is a really easy way to persuade people without them noticing. All you have to do is make a few small concessions. Just give up on some things you don't care about, then when the other person feels like they're winning, push the one thing that you actually want.

They'll think it's too good to be true, but in reality, it's not. This technique works wonders during any negotiation, so be aware of it if you're in one.

5. Persuasive Language

The most persuasive people infuse their argument into their language. They purposely choose words and phrases that nudge you in a specific direction because a single word can completely transform your opinion of something. Okay, if I told you I'm selling a couch, what would you think? Hmm, probably not much. But if I say I'm selling the comfiest couch that you'll ever sit on, wouldn't that change your mind?

Suddenly, you have a different mental image of that couch in your head. So when you sit down, you'll get more excited about how comfortable it is—not because the couch is any different, but because my language affects the way you think. One or two descriptors can turn a positive into a negative, soften a blow, and make something much more dramatic than it actually is. So pay attention to the language people use, because one word can make all the difference.

6. Imaginary Competition

It's not one of the principles of persuasion, but imaginary competition is a very effective trick. In fact, Cialdini himself used this strategy to get an entire community to use less power. All he did was hang signs on people's doors. Each sign showed how that house's energy usage compared to the rest of the neighborhood.

Now, obviously, no one wanted to be in last place, so people started using less water. They paid more attention to their lights. The whole community started saving energy—all because of a little competition. Now, while this experiment was for a good cause, not everyone has the best intentions. If someone pushes you into a pointless competition, you don't have to play their game.

7. Ridiculous Hypotheticals

Persuasive people will make you question your own beliefs. They'll twist your points into something that sounds ridiculous and absurd. Crazy hypotheticals do exactly that. They take your opinions and blow them up into some exaggerated scenario. Suddenly, you'll feel bad for believing in it. You might even start rethinking your sign.

But here's the problem with crazy suppositions: they're just that—they're crazy. Most of the time, they're not only impossible, but they also just don't make any sense. They're just there to get you riled up, so don't let some ridiculous hypothetical get the best of you.

8. Illusion of Education

There's a very thin line between education and persuasion. Many people will change the way they say things to push you in one direction or another. Now, on the surface, it seems like they're trying to teach you some new information, but under all those facts and figures, they might be hiding something.

9. Manipulative Mirroring

Persuasive people use small changes in their body language to adjust your opinion of them. They might, for example, mirror your movements to seem more likable. When you take a drink, they take a drink. When you smile, they smile. And before you know it, you'll feel closer to them without ever understanding why.

10. Loaded Favors

Reciprocity is an extremely common persuasive tool. Okay, let's say someone helps you move out of your apartment. If they have to move a couple of weeks later, they might expect you to return the favor. And hey, you probably will. Normally, this is just called being polite.

But some persuasive people use reciprocity for their own personal gain. They'll go out of their way to do favors for you because they want you to owe them one. And that way, when they need something, you'll feel compelled to say yes.

11. Fast-Talking

A 2011 study found that people who talk faster are more persuasive in the context of a casual conversation. Fast talking makes you sound more relatable and more convincing. A faster pace shows people that you know your stuff, while slowing down makes you seem confused or uncertain. So pay attention to the speed of someone's voice because you might catch them trying to trick you.

12. Behavioral Constancy

A persuasive person will use your own habits against you. They'll trick you into doing something simply because it fits your character. It's no surprise that people like consistency; that's why it's one of Cialdini's principles of persuasion.

You're more motivated to do something if it falls in line with your normal patterns and beliefs. No one wants to break the cycle or defy their own personality. But if you're not careful, someone might take advantage of your consistency.

13. Claiming Expertise

The next principle of persuasion is Authority. When you put yourself in a position of power, your opinion naturally carries more weight. So if you act like you're an expert, people will find you more convincing. They'll assume that you're dead-on without ever bothering to think it through.

But a little authority doesn't turn a wrong idea into a right one, so don't let a fancy title pull the wool over your eyes.

14. Turning the Tables

When someone wants to make a good first impression, they might trick you into telling them how. Imagine you're interviewing someone for a job. You ask them why they're qualified for this position. Instead of answering, they say something like, "I think there are a number of different reasons, but I'm interested in why you decided to bring me in." Suddenly, the tables have turned.

Now the pressure is on you to explain to them why you want to hire them. And once that happens, you've basically done the hard work for them.

15. The Kind Command

This one is a pretty subtle trick. It uses a combination of control and kindness to nudge people one way or the other. Let's say you're walking past a fundraiser when someone shouts, "Come on down and give us a hand!" It sounds like they're asking for help, right? And it's obviously for a good cause, so you decide to volunteer for a few hours.

But did they actually ask you if you wanted to help, or did they just tell you? These kinds of orders are very effective because you can boss people around without them realizing it. Yeah, it might feel like a gentle nudge, but it still has the force of a firm command. So don't let the tone of their voice or the smile on their face fool you; an order is an order, no matter how good-natured it sounds.

Additional Resources

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