10 Things You Should Never Say to a Girl

1. You Should Smile More

Have you ever told a woman to smile more? You may mean well, you may be trying to give her a compliment, but this phrase is a recipe for disaster. You may think you're being smooth and confident, but you're not. If you tell her to smile more, she won’t feel like smiling; she’ll feel like biting your head off. Girls don't want notes on their facial expressions; they don't care whether you want them to smile more. If you tell them to smile more, it's only going to make them angrier.

**Why is that?** Because she's not there to attract or entertain you. **You may want her to smile**, but what if she doesn't feel like smiling? You have no idea how she's feeling or what she's thinking about, so **telling her to smile** is always the wrong answer. Nine times out of ten, you should just keep your recommendations to yourself.

2. Don't Take This the Wrong Way

This simple preface turns any comment into a surefire catastrophe. When you use this phrase, what's the one thing she's guaranteed to think? If you tell her not to take it the wrong way, she'll think, "How could I take it the wrong way?" As soon as that thought crosses her mind, buddy, you're in the red. **So what should you do instead?** Just take a moment to think about what you’re going to say. Is it something she needs to hear? Is it something she'd like to hear?

Most of the time, we use this preface to soften a blow, to cushion an insult or criticism. So if it wasn't negative, you wouldn’t need this backward phrase, would you? You would never say, "Hey, don't take this the wrong way, but you have a beautiful smile," or "Don't take this the wrong way, but you've got a great sense of humor." **Yeah, that wouldn't make any sense, would it?** We use this phrase when we're tiptoeing the line between positive and negative, between complementary and critical. So if you're ever in doubt, think about this: How would the same comment make you feel? Would your feelings get hurt? If the answer's yes, then it's better left unsaid.

3. Don't Be So Sensitive

Sometimes guys have trouble understanding girls' perspectives. When a misunderstanding happens, many guys develop a bad habit. Instead of sympathizing with her, they say, **"You're being too sensitive"** or "You're being too emotional." They say she's overreacting. But is she overreacting? Is she really being too sensitive?

When you tell a girl that she's too sensitive or emotional, you're **invalidating her feelings**. You're implying that she lacks emotional control, so her feelings are not real, important, or reasonable. Phrases like "you're too sensitive" make women feel ignored and invalidated. Just imagine this situation: You're feeling angry about something that happened at work. You tell your girlfriend about your terrible day, and she says, **"Oh, you're being too sensitive."** Wouldn't that make you angry? You feel frustrated because she’s throwing your feelings out the window. She's talking down to you as though your emotions don't matter.

4. Can I Have Your Number?

Guys want to be confident around girls they like. You want to seem masculine and decisive, courageous and daring. So you make a bold move, and out of nowhere, you walk up, grab her attention, and ask her on a date. Are you showing courage and confidence, or are you crossing boundaries that you really shouldn't cross?

Let's say you see a pretty girl at a coffee shop. You think she's attractive, so you want to get to know her, but you're worried about looking like a nice guy. So what do you do? You dive in head first and, without even introducing yourself, you ask her, "Hey, can I have your number?" Immediately, the interaction goes south. She turns you down, and she tells you to leave her alone. **But what went wrong?**

To this girl, you're a complete stranger. She doesn't feel comfortable or safe around you. She doesn't know you or care about you, and by suddenly asking for her number, you don't seem confident and courageous; you seem creepy. So if you want to get closer to a girl, you need to take your time. **Get comfortable around each other, get to know each other.** That's how you develop a stable, trusting connection with a girl you like. You lay a strong foundation. You show her what kind of person you are. If you really are confident and courageous, you don't need some big romantic gesture. She'll see how confident you are just by talking to you. If she likes what she sees, the two of you may connect on a personal level, and once that happens, you can take the relationship to the next level.

5. What's Wrong?

On its own, asking what's wrong is a good thing. Guys should take an interest in how girls are feeling. If she seems upset, ask her what's wrong. **Give her a chance to blow off steam** or talk through her feelings. But you can only ask what's wrong so many times. If you ask her too often, you'll start creating more problems than you're solving.

Many guys get worried each time they see a strange look on her face or a change in the tone of her voice. So they pester girls with questions, convinced that something must be wrong. She may say that she's fine, but you don't believe her. So you ask, **"What's wrong?"** again and again and again until suddenly, she's not fine anymore. She's frustrated with you because you keep insisting that something is wrong. So if she says she's okay, it's alright to be a little skeptical. Not everyone says what they mean, but it's also important to trust her and believe her. Don't be negligent to her feelings, but don't pry every two seconds either. **Let her know that you're there if she needs you and then leave it alone.**

6. You Look Tired

Have you ever casually said to a girl, **"You look tired?"** In your mind, it's a simple observation, but in the wrong context, an observation can be devastating. She might be tired; she might not have slept well last night, but that doesn't mean you want to point it out. Chances are she made an effort to hide her fatigue. Maybe she put on makeup or invested time into her appearance. She wanted to look her best, but all you seem to notice is how tired she looks.

This observation may seem harmless to you, but think about what you're saying and what you're not saying. When you tell a girl she looks tired, you're making her feel worse about herself. You're disregarding the time and energy she put into her appearance. So if you want to make an observation, tell her how great she looks. There's never a good reason to tear someone down, but there's always a good reason to build them back up. So **acknowledge the good things about her, not the bad.**

7. You're Acting Crazy

What's the one word that aggravates the entire female population? The word **"crazy."** If your girlfriend gets mad at you, you call her crazy. If your mother makes a fuss about a holiday you forgot, you call her crazy. Guys dismiss so many women as crazy, but the truth is, they're not crazy at all. Guys use this word to ignore a woman's point of view. They can't see the world from their perspective, so they don't even try. Instead, they dismiss everything they do as crazy.

Girls aren't crazy, just like they're not too sensitive or too emotional. Everyone experiences things differently. Everyone reacts to problems differently. **The sooner you stop dismissing her, the more of her perspective that you'll understand.**

8. It's Just Guy Stuff

Our society is filled with gender-specific subjects, jobs, games, and media. We pretend like these stereotypes and boundaries divide us into separate categories, but those categories don't exist. Don't reinforce those categories by blocking or gatekeeping the women in your life. For example, let's say you and your friends love to talk about basketball. If a woman takes an interest, don't block her out. **Don't tell her it's just guy stuff.**

In the same way, don't roll your eyes at subjects you think are girly or feminine. Avoid phrases