Mental Strength
1. Emotional Responsibility
Are you afraid of disappointing people? You may compromise your commitments, your time, and values to spare another person's feelings. But are their feelings your responsibility? People with mental strength ask this question early and often.
All right, let's say you're looking forward to a relaxing afternoon by yourself. Right as you're settling in for the night, your friend invites you to a concert. Your friend seems really excited about going, but you were excited for a quiet night alone. Do you go to the concert or do you stay home by yourself?
Well, most of us would go to the concert, right? Why is that? Because we're afraid of disappointing people. Deep down, we choose other people over ourselves, especially when we think they'll turn against us. But if you have mental strength, you know that your friend's emotions are not always your responsibility. You feel confident and comfortable standing up for yourself, and you don't feel guilty every time you say no. Because mentally strong people protect their emotions before anyone else's.
2. Owing Nothing
Nobody owes you anything. Mentally strong people know this like the back of their hand. You may think you deserve a promotion, a raise, or an opportunity. You may insist that you've worked harder than everyone else. You may assume that you want this dream more than anyone out there.
But the simple truth is no one is entitled to anything in life. No opportunity will fall into your lap because success is just not fair. Some people stumble onto amazing opportunities without working for them, while others work their entire lives and get nothing. It's a hard pill to swallow, but mentally strong people know this by heart.
That's why people with mental strength take action. They're the first to show initiative, the first to chase their dreams, and the last to give up on them. Mentally strong people know that nothing in life is easy or automatic. Jobs, friendships, relationships—they all require you to do the heavy lifting. If you aren't willing to take initiative, your dreams may never come true, no matter how much you want them to.
3. Accepting Chaos
Life is often out of your control, yet many people try to micromanage every little thing. They helicopter over their friends and family members, demand to know every detail, and try to think through and prepare for every possible outcome. But you'll never be 100% in control of the world around you.
Mentally strong people don't try to control everything. They know that life is filled with obstacles and unknowns. They understand that sometimes chaos is the only option. So they build mental boundaries between things they can control and things they can't.
Your work ethic, for example, is something you can control. You can be more productive, more disciplined, and work longer and harder than before. But you can't control the way your boss perceives you or the opportunities that come your way. Trying to control these things will only create anxiety and self-doubt.
Find strength in all the things you can control. Embrace all the parts of your life that you can affect all on your own. If you can separate these things in your mind, you have mental strength.
4. Emotional Intelligence
How well do you understand your emotions? Emotional intelligence is a very common sign of mental strength. People who have spent time analyzing their feelings often understand themselves better as individuals.
The average person hides behind a thick layer of biases and misunderstandings. We assume we know everything about ourselves, yet we can hardly make heads or tails of our own feelings. People with mental strength, on the other hand, get to know themselves on a more intimate level.
They use self-reflection to discover bad habits, patterns, and biases in their lives. Not only can this significantly improve your relationships with other people, but it also improves your relationship with yourself. It gives you a sense of perspective on the things you do and say. If you're an emotionally intelligent person, there's a good chance you're mentally strong too.
5. Changing Opinions
Inflexible opinions are dangerous, no matter the context. No argument is immune to change. There will always be perspectives you haven't heard. There will always be discoveries that force you to rethink your ideas. Yet many people turn a blind eye to all the knowledge they don't understand.
People become glued to their opinions. They find something they understand and believe their opinion to be the truth. So they block out other perspectives, ignore new evidence, and refuse to change their minds. Over time, that stubbornness creates ignorance and narrow-mindedness.
If you are mentally strong, you know that opinions can and will change. You consider new evidence, value the perspectives of others, and have no problem asking for help, feedback, or another point of view. Because you know that changing your mind doesn't mean you're wrong. Changing your mind doesn't mean you're dumb or naive. It means you're learning and growing as a person. So be flexible, be open-minded, and listen to what other people have to say, whether you agree with them or not. Knowledge will make you stronger.
6. Reinforcing Boundaries
Do you try to please everyone in your life? Do you panic when someone's upset with you? This is a common problem. You may feel anxious knowing that somebody out there is angry about something you did. You may feel guilty or embarrassed, so you go out of your way to fix the damage you've done. You stretch yourself too thin trying and failing to make people happy.
But mentally strong people know it's impossible to please everyone. So instead of overexerting themselves, people with mental strength create boundaries. Within those boundaries, they freely dedicate their time and effort to other people. But there's only so far they're willing to go, and that limit revolves around their own happiness.
If helping someone else drives you into the ground, then you're going too far. If pleasing others means sacrificing your goals, you need to take a step back. Kindness and generosity are wonderful traits, but before you can make anyone else happy, you have to make yourself happy.
7. Credit Their Success
Do you apologize for your success? You worked hard to get where you are today. You put in long hours, made hard decisions, and made your fair share of sacrifices. And now you have something to be proud of.
But instead of embracing your accomplishments, you're embarrassed by them. You undermine them, sell yourself short, and feel guilty for something that you spent years chasing with everything you had. Too many people make this mistake on a regular basis. They apologize for their own success as though success is something you should feel ashamed of.
But mentally strong people learn to be proud of their achievements. They take credit for any success they found in life because it took hard work and dedication to get there. You don't have to brag or rub your success in people's faces, but don't be ashamed of hard work. You chose to take a difficult road. You chose to make a sacrifice. So be proud of the path you've chosen.
8. Self Comparisons
Do you compare yourself to other people? Many people do this on a daily basis. We have a wide variety of media outlets at our fingertips, so it's easy to look at others and start criticizing yourself. You see influencers traveling the world. You see entrepreneurs finding great success in their fields. You see artists turning their passions into careers, and you begin to doubt your own accomplishments.
But it's not constructive or fair to make comparisons. No one has had the same experiences as you. No one has the same background as you. And no one's dreams are exactly like yours. So don't worry about how you stack up to strangers on the internet.
If you see someone ahead of you, don't worry about falling behind. Instead, look backwards at the person you were yesterday and make sure that you're moving forward in your own life. If you grow even a little bit every day, hey, you're mentally strong.
9. Expressing Emotions
Do you have an explosive temper? Do your emotions build up until you can't contain them any longer? Many people cope with their emotions by burying them deep down. Each time they make a mistake, they try to ignore their feelings. But over time, these emotions pile up and flood out of you when you least expect it.
That's why mentally strong people deal with their emotions in the present. They don't stuff their feelings down or pretend they're fine when they're not. They don't hide the way they're feeling because emotions are nothing to be ashamed of.
So let yourself be vulnerable. Analyze how you're feeling and work through those feelings as best you can. If you can do that, you may be a mentally strong person.
10. Walking Away
How do you handle conflict? If a stranger starts yelling at you, do you fight back or do you walk away? Walking away is a sign of mental strength because strong people know the difference between useless and useful conflict.
They can slow down, stay calm, and gather perspective so they know when an argument is a waste of their time. It takes strength to stand up and fight, but it takes even more strength to walk away.
Mental Strength Traits | Description |
---|---|
Emotional Responsibility | Standing up for oneself and recognizing that others' emotions are not your responsibility. |
Owing Nothing | Understanding that no one is entitled to anything and taking initiative for success. |
Accepting Chaos | Embracing things you can control and letting go of those you can't. |
Emotional Intelligence | Analyzing and understanding one's own emotions to improve self-awareness. |
Changing Opinions | Being open to new perspectives and changing one's mind when presented with new evidence. |
Reinforcing Boundaries | Creating boundaries to maintain personal happiness while being kind and generous to others. |
Credit Their Success | Being proud of one's achievements and taking credit for hard work. |
Self Comparisons | Focusing on personal growth instead of comparing oneself to others. |
Expressing Emotions | Dealing with emotions in the present and allowing vulnerability. |
Walking Away | Knowing when to walk away from unnecessary conflict. |