Cycle to Reach Success
Number One: Nice is Never Enough
This is a fundamental mistake that nice guys make. Being nice doesn't mean you deserve a relationship. Many nice guys think respect and good manners deserve to be rewarded, but that rarely ever happens. There's nothing wrong with being a good person; kindness is one of the best traits you can have, but kindness doesn't create romance by itself. If you're just a nice guy, being nice may be your worst enemy. Women like nice guys, but they don't date nice guys. Women may enjoy spending time with you; they may consider you a good listener and a good friend, but that's about it.
Being nice doesn't stir up any romantic feelings for them. It doesn't create the tension and chemistry that builds a romantic relationship. So, hey, don't expect romance whenever you're nice to someone. Not only is it unattractive, it's actually manipulative. All right, just think about it. If you're only being nice to win someone over, are you actually a good person, or are you just taking advantage of them? Nice guys find themselves disappointed and ignored time after time. They wait for their good manners to be rewarded, but they never are. Don't make this mistake any longer.
Being nice is a start. Being nice can do you many favors, but good manners are not the way to a woman's heart, especially if you expect something in return.
Number Two: Muting Your Personality
Nice guys mute their personalities around women. Around your friends, you may be talkative and confident. You may discuss your passions at length. You make jokes and enjoy being the center of attention. But when you're around an attractive woman, your confidence plummets. You transform into someone you're not. Instead of acting like yourself, you try really hard to act like a good guy.
You try to avoid all the mistakes other men make. You don't want to be a jerk; you don't want to be selfish; you don't want to be forceful. Now, in theory, this should work, right? But nice guys never get the girl. So why doesn't this strategy work? Because you're not staying true to yourself.
You're copying a stereotype, and you're pretending to be someone you're not. You're acting passive, submissive, and overly attentive. Most women will see right through you. The truth is, women want someone with personality. They don't want a cardboard cutout of a person. They don't want you to sit there and cater to them. They're looking for someone with interesting things to say, a guy who has a sense of humor, who isn't afraid to come out of his shell.
So don't try to be something you're not. Be yourself. If she doesn't like who you are, well, it wasn't meant to be, but you'll get a lot more attention when you stop muting your personality.
Number Three: Waiting for a Chance
Do you let her decide everything? Do you sit around waiting for your crush to give you a shot? This is a huge problem for nice guys. They spend enormous amounts of time laying the groundwork. They pour hours into their potential partners, and then they wait for her to take the initiative. But that's not what most women are looking for.
If you want to be with someone, it's your responsibility to take action. You have to show her that you're attracted to her by being confident and direct. So stop putting yourself in the backseat of your relationships. You're not getting anywhere sitting on the sidelines. So take your shots. If it all blows up in your face, hey, at least you know that you tried.
Number Four: Falling Too Fast
Do you fall for every attractive girl you meet? Nice guys give away too much too early. They get swept up in the excitement of talking to an attractive woman, so they overcommit without looking at the person inside. Because most women won't be a good fit for you. If you're looking for a partner, 99% of the women in the world will clash with your personality.
Yet few men see beyond a woman's physical appearance, especially in the beginning. So why do nice guys fall into this trap? Because desperation is blinding. When you crave romance, you fall head over heels for anyone and everyone. But women aren't interested in men who fall so easily. They encounter dozens, if not hundreds, of these guys on a regular basis, so you're nothing special.
That's why women are attracted to men who keep their distance, men who aren't spellbound by their good looks. These men won't shower her with compliments or do her favors. Instead of rushing to win her over, these men make women chase them. So stop yourself from falling fast. Just because someone's attractive, that doesn't mean they're a good fit or even worth your time. If you can separate romantic interest and sexual attraction, you stand a much better chance of developing real chemistry.
Number Five: Mimicking Her Checklist
Have you ever asked a woman what she's looking for? She may say something like a guy who's sensitive or a good listener. But is that really all women want? Nice guys try to embody these traits. They listen to what women want, then they do their best to copy exactly that. They embody the kind, sensitive listener that women say they're looking for. But women are only telling you half the story.
Down the road, they may want someone who's kind and sensitive. Before any of that matters, though, women want someone who they're attracted to. Women want someone who ignites romantic passion and makes them laugh, someone who's interesting, intelligent, and confident. So don't try to embody a woman's checklist. Instead, stir up the romantic tension between you. Without romance, your best qualities will go to waste. But once she's attracted to you, she'll see your best qualities in a new light.
Number Six: Flaunting Your Paycheck
Do you try to win women over with money? You may be convinced that rich men get more attention than poor men, and sometimes that may be true. But flaunting your wealth is not going to make women like you. All right, let's take your fancy car, for example. 95% of women will not care about what car you drive; they care about the kind of person that steps out of that car. Because a Ferrari will never turn a nice guy into a confident partner.
Confidence makes a bigger impact than your paycheck ever will. If you flaunt your money to win people over, they'll know it. So put your brand names away and stop bragging about your wealth. Money will not do you any favors.
Number Seven: Rejecting the Game
Nice guys don't like to play games. In fact, many nice guys actively reject the games people play in relationships. But here's the truth: if you don't want to play games, you're destined to fail. People mislead and test each other all the time. Men do it, women do it. It's because of these games that sexual chemistry exists at all.
The beginning of any relationship, whether it's casual or serious, is a push and pull. Both parties are trying to gauge the other's interest without giving too much away. If you play the game well, you may have a romantic connection. But if you avoid the game, you don't stand a chance. It would be nice if relationships were straightforward if everyone was totally honest right off the bat, but it would also be boring, and women don't like guys who are boring.
Number Eight: Making Excuses
Why don't women like you? Nice guys have a million answers to this question. Women don't like me because I'm too short. They don't like me because I'm too skinny. They don't like me because I'm not handsome enough. But every single one of these answers is wrong. Men of all shapes and sizes have success with women.
You may blame your body, but it's just an excuse. You're passing the blame. You're pretending that you have no control over your success with women. But your success is entirely in your hands. You can get women's attention just the way you are, but first, you have to come to terms with the way you look. The only thing standing in your way is your mindset, not your height, not your weight. It's your mental and physical confidence. So stop making excuses and start changing your attitude.
Number Nine: Too Many Favors
Do you do everything a girl asks of you? Are you always volunteering your help? Nice guys make this mistake on a regular basis. They're desperate for attention, so they use favors to prove how good of a guy they are. But doing favors doesn't score you any points. Why? Because confident, self-respecting men don't beg for attention. They don't use favors to get on someone's good side.
They have personal boundaries, and they're unwilling to cross them. As strange as it sounds, saying no is one of the most powerful things in a relationship. If you don't respect yourself and your time, well, she won't either.
Number Ten: Expecting Recognition
Do you tell people that you're a nice person? This is a classic mistake that nice guys make. They expect people to appreciate how nice they are. They want people to recognize how different they are from all the bad guys in the world. But each time you brag about being nice, you're tanking your chances. Men who are genuinely nice don't need to be identified as a nice guy. They don't expect rewards or honors for being a decent person.
So don't get upset when women don't recognize how nice you are. If you want to be nice, be nice for the sake of being nice, not because you're expecting a reward.
Conclusion
| Mistake | Solution |
|---|---|
| Expecting romance for being nice | Build genuine connections |
| Muting your personality | Be yourself |
| Waiting for a chance | Take initiative |
| Falling too fast | Keep your distance |
| Mimicking her checklist | Create romantic tension |
| Flaunting your paycheck | Show confidence |
| Rejecting the game | Engage in the push and pull |
| Making excuses | Change your mindset |
| Too many favors | Respect yourself |
| Expecting recognition | Be nice for its own sake |
